Coping with caregiver stress and burnout
Don’t wait for burnout before you reach out.
It’s okay to feel tired and angry
Caregivers are often very busy caring for others and this can lead to them putting aside their own emotional, physical, and spiritual health.
Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion. There may also be a change in attitude, from caring to unconcerned. As a caregiver, there is a tendency to place the needs of your loved one ahead of your own.
However, your well-being is also important and essential. Taking care of yourself involves recognising the causes of caregiver stress and burnout, the signs of them, and building strategies to cope.
Signs and Symptoms
The 12 most common signs of caregiver stress and burnout are:
Increased anxiety, depression, irritability and impatience
Lack of energy or constantly feeling exhausted, even after sleeping or taking a break
Neglecting your responsibilities and needs
Falling sick more often than before
Loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed
Changes in sleep patterns
Changes in appetite and/or weight
Feeling overwhelmed, helpless or hopeless
Withdrawal from friends, family and other loved ones
Feel like your life revolves around caregiving, but it gives you little satisfaction
Constantly worrying and find it hard to relax even when help is available
Feelings of wanting to hurt yourself or the person for whom you are caring
If you find yourself identifying with over half of the signs on this list, you are most likely suffering from caregiver stress and burnout.
Identify your stressors
The potential causes of caregiver stress and burnout can be:
Role confusion
Many people are confused when thrust into the role of caring for another person. Caregivers usually have various roles and commitments in their other relationships, as a spouse, partner, parent, friend, colleague, and so on. Thus, caregivers may have difficulty separating and juggling these different roles.
Lack of Control
Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later, it will take care of itself. It always does.
Unreasonable demands from self and others
Some caregivers place unreasonable demands upon themselves and also face scrutiny from other family members. In complex or larger family structures, siblings, adult children, or the person being cared for may place unreasonable demands upon the caregiver. This places a great deal of stress on the primary caregiver.
Unrealistic expectations of the impact of care
Many caregivers want and hope that their involvement can positively affect the health and happiness of the person that they are caring for. However, many conditions are progressive and get worse over time, such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.
As their condition deteriorates, caregivers may have difficulty accepting this change and may even blame themselves for not doing enough. Furthermore, caregivers feel solely responsible for caregiving duties and feel distressed from not meeting the demands of caregiving.
Other factors
Many caregivers are often not trained to recognise the signs of caregiver stress and burnout. Consequently, many caregivers get to the point where they cannot function well. They may even become physically or psychologically ill.
5 Tips for Coping
There are many online resources that provide a more comprehensive list of tips for coping with caregiver stress and burnout. We have distilled some caregiving tips in the section below. If you would like to read more detailed tips on coping strategies, you can read about the other tools here.
Talk about your struggles
Find someone you trust, a friend, co-worker, or close family member, and talk about your feelings and frustrations. Accept that having negative and unhappy feelings is normal, it does not mean that you are a bad person.
Sometimes, just having a listening ear and other people to lean upon can be a source of relief.
In other cases, you or the person you are caring for might want to speak with a professional, like a social worker, therapist, or counsellor. They are trained to guide individuals dealing with a range of physical and emotional issues.
You can learn more about them here.
Set reasonable expectations for yourself
You have to know your limits and set reasonable goals for your caregiving. To plan your goals, you can research and learn more about the condition of your loved one.
This will help you to understand the responsibilities and potential financial costs associated with caring for your loved one. This is especially needed for progressive conditions like Alzheimer’s.
You might also have to prepare yourself for the possibility of your loved one needing nursing services or assisted living.
Delegate if possible
It is very difficult to be the sole caregiver. Delegating tasks is one way to cope with the many responsibilities of caregiving. If you have family members, you should meet with them and delegate caregiving tasks so that you are not overwhelmed.
If this is not possible, you should consider using one of the community care resources listed below.
Practice self-care
Caregiving can be a stressful and difficult role, it is very important to build an array of self-care practices to cope with the demands of caregiving. Many caregivers feel guilty for taking time for themselves.
But you should listen to your body and to those who care about your well-being. If you feel overwhelmed and in need of a break, then take some time off and do something that you enjoy.
Use Community care resources
It is okay if you realise that you need more help and cannot be the sole caregiver.
If you do not have family members to help care for your loved one, there are also care centres to support you. There are also options for hourly care, day care and long term care.
We have compiled a list of options below from NTUC Health, but you may be able to find others online too.
Community care services
The resources listed here are all provided for NTUC Health, a social enterprise by the NTUC Enterprise.
Short term care — good for short breaks
Go Respite offers short-term care so that caregivers like yourself can attend to their other important commitments or when you need a break for a few hours.
Fees
As this is still a pilot programme, please contact the service provider directly for enquires.
Day care
Senior Day Care has 23 centres in Singapore, they support caregivers with day care, dementia care, flexible care arrangements, and rehabilitation services.
Fees
Service fees range from $1,000 to $1,600 per month* before subsidy and financial assistance.
* Excludes additional services such as clinical assessment and treatment, medical escort, rehabilitation, transport, and are before government subsidy (where eligible).
Singapore Citizens and Permanent Residents may be eligible for government subsidies and financial assistance, depending on the monthly household income per person, amongst other criteria. The amount of subsidy will be determined through the National Means Testing System (NMTS).
To find out if you are eligible for subsidies and financial assistance, please visit their page.
Longer-term care
Home Care Services provides longer-term and regular help as well as subsidies for families in need.
Fees
From $2/h with subsidy
From $22/h without subsidy
Singapore Citizens or Permanent Residents who meet their admission criteria are eligible to apply for government subsidy. The amount of subsidy will be determined through a National Means Test.
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